Shane Gillis on getting expelled

    by Tufail: Shane Gillis

    Shane Gillis really said he went from West Point to his parents' basement in about a year, and the whole thing started with quitting football because he sucked at it. Once the football was gone, class went too, and then came the expulsion, which he genuinely didn't know schools were allowed to do. His read on it was that they'd just keep taking his money. Who cares, right? The email landed while he was home for Christmas break: not allowed to come back. So he went upstairs to tell his parents, and they called him a loser. From there it was washing dishes at a friend's restaurant, and somewhere in that stretch a guy mentioned he was going to do an open mic, so Gillis tagged along to watch. Everyone sucked, he figured he should try it, and then he sucked too.

    Transcript (en)

    I went to Elon University to play football there. And then, uh... Played football? Yeah, I was playing football. And then I quit football, because I sucked at that. And then once I quit football, I stopped going to class. And then I got expelled. Which I didn't even know they could do that. I thought they would just keep taking my money. Who cares? Yeah, yeah, there's so many kids. You don't even really care about me? Yeah. No, but I went home, and I remember I was home for Christmas break, and I got an e-mail that was like, you're not allowed to come back. And then I had to go upstairs and tell my parents. What did they do? They were like, you're a loser. Oh, my God. And you're like, and I think I'm going to comedy. They're like, oh, my God. Yeah. What did we raise? It's about exactly it. But then you, so you're going, you're at the comedy club, and then you go, you get the nerve, you go, maybe I'll try it. Yeah, I watched, yeah. I was, actually, I was working at my friend's restaurant, and then I was washing dishes. So, like, in a year, I went from West Point to washing dishes and living in my parents' basement. And one of the guys was like, I'm gonna go do an open mic. And I was like, I'll go watch. And then I watched, and everyone sucked. So I was like, I should try that. And then I sucked, so...