Transcript (en)

You were 11 when your dad died and you spoke at his memorial. What do you remember about that day? You know, I did this really cool exercise last year where, and I think this helps with my perspective shift on just in life, where I wrote, I wrote out just a short two page life story through the eyes of the victim. and then i sat with it and i went through and i wrote another two pages uh same stories but not through the eyes of the victim and through this kind of zoomed out version uh and looking at like maybe these scary things that happened or these hardships that happened or whatever and looking for what were points of initiation what were points of like you know a jumping off point What were, you know, these little pieces that would later be alchemized into medicine for other people? And so a lot of my perspective on things like that have just been like, oh, this was some form of energetic initiation to get me further along on my path. What story was easier to write, the victim or the more zoomed out lens? I say that because of where I was at at the time, probably the zoomed out lens. Oh, interesting. I saw this Ram Dass thing recently that kind of explores basically these two roles you can be in which is either the victim or the creator and he i gonna butcher this but he said something along the lines of any time we are identifying with kind of just like our human selves this is what i like this is what i don't like this is what how i spend my time this is you know my hobby this is a label that a family member or a friend or maybe some asshole online gave me anytime we are identifying with those things we are victim. When we shed ourselves of all of these roles and we shed ourselves of all of these labels and we get to our true essence, that is when we are in creator. I've also seen this kind of outlook. It's like a through line across multiple cultures and even in some religions where there is this kind of like idea around true essence stripped of all these things that put us in a position of like maybe self-pity or something like that. I was talking to my mom about this the other day. she always has said to me like there are things that can have happened to you that are horrible but you have to choose to live with victim mentality and if you do that then you are essentially saying that I have no autonomy over my life there are moments where you did not have autonomy and something happened to you and you actually were a victim but to live in the victim mentality like you're stripping yourself of any ability to have power then where do you get to rise up and be like, I'm, no, I'm in control. Now what? So you're constantly just, everyone else is in control of you and you have no control over your own life. So I get what you're saying there, where it's like, you have to some way. At some point it does become my responsibility