Transcript (en)

Hey, it's me, the CEO. People think being the CEO is easy. You know, they see the fans, the red carpets, they're all chanting, CEO. And you think, what a life. Now, picture 40 people chanting it in the family planning aisle while I wait 10 minutes for an employee to open the case. And if you do self-checkout, well, the machine yells until someone helps you. And those receipts, they're almost as long as... No one should have to work this hard to, you know. Me know. Shop Cringemart on DoorDash. Everything you need for a great night delivered. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some business to attend to. Martha! What's up, girl?