Transcript (en)

Guess what? My wife is having an affair with David... David Lindhagen. David Lindhagen, I know. How do I know that? I don't know. I'm a total stranger. How would I know something so intimate about your wife? David Lindhagen's screwing your wife, too? No. Do you want to know why I know that, Cal? Okay. Because it's all that I've heard, Cal, for the past two nights. It's all anybody's heard. You're going around and you're like... You're like badgering people with this sad sack loser sob story and I don't understand why. No, I don't need this crap. Cal, sit down. Alright. Look, I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. And you need to hear the truth. Okay? Okay. Cal, would you take that straw out of your mouth? Please. Just for this conversation. Do you know what that looks like? It looks like you're sucking on a tiny schvanz. Is that what you want? What? Is that the message you want to send to everybody? No one's thinking that. Really? So, permission to speak candidly, sir? I think you've already gone there. You're sitting there with the Supercuts haircut, you're getting drunk on watered-down vodka cranberries like a 14-year-old girl, and you're wearing a 44 when you should be wearing a 42 regular. Honestly, I don't know if I should help you or I should euthanize you. Cal, you've got a kind face. You've got a good head of hair. You seem like a nice guy I want to help you I gonna help you rediscover your manhood Do you have any idea like where you lost it A strong case could be made for 1984. Well... We're going to find it. We are. I promise you. And I promise you this, too, Cal. When we're done, this wife of yours, She's gonna ruin the day she ever decided to give up on you. That's my offer. You in or you out? Why are you doing this? Maybe you remind me of someone. You in or you out? I'm in. Hey, Fancy Face, you wanna go? Okay. Entry's tomorrow, food court. Three o'clock, Thursday. Good night, Fancy Face. She will rue the day. you