Transcript (en)

Cristiano, what are you doing here? Okay, listen. Take this money and share it among yourselves. What? I know you're probably not winning anyway. Excuse me? Please. I only need one goal. Maybe two. One and a half if that's easier. That's not how the World Cup works. Messi scored five. Mbappé scored. Yamal scored. Even fucking Yamal! He's El Thien! My fans are laughing at me. My teammates are laughing at me! Every time I open my phone, there's another fucking goal compilation! I can't do this anymore. Did Messi ever try to bribe his opponents? No. Then what makes you think this will work? What? Maybe you should try scoring goals instead.