Transcript (en)

Excuse me, Bailey? I'm the boy whose sister punched you. I noticed yesterday that you were kissing Henry, and today you're kissing Arlo, and I was wondering, how did he woo you? And please, be specific. What the hell? I'm doing research on how to steal a woman, and Bailey is the perfect test object because she's a skank. Hey! So you're doing research on how to steal a woman? Awesome. Arlo, be nice. You trying to get laid, Sam? You gonna tap some ass? I don't think so. What does that do? No, no, no. He means pussy, bro. I'm not a fan of cats. I mean, I guess cats are okay. I'm more into birds than felines. And especially, I'll say, flightless birds are cool. What kind of girl are you looking for, Sam? Or do you just want to bang a flightless bird? Of course not. A human. A human female. That's enough, guys. Guys, leave him alone. He's not all there. Wait, I didn't tell you when the date is. Friday, 6 p.m. Eastern. I'm still busy. Okay. I also forgot to tell you that you would be my practice girlfriend. The person I really like is Julia, my therapist, if that makes it any better. It makes it worse If Friday is bad I could do Thursday instead Oh my God I don want to go out with you Why not Because look no offense at all at all at all but you're really weird, and you wear the same clothes every day. I also have this guy from camp. I haven't seen him in a while, but we text all the time. And we start with it in the distance, but I've never thought of talking to you, and it's honestly really rude. I need new clothes. Okay, how come? Because girls seem to like it when boys wear more than one type of shirt. Why is that? I guess so they could get a sense of your style. It says something about a person. Like how some iguanas flare their colorful dewlaps to attract a mate. Exactly. Like that, I think. How do you currently pick out your clothes? I don't. My mom does. Doesn't your mom pick out your clothes? Not anymore. I think maybe it's time to start picking out your own clothes. How? There are so many clothes. and different colors and patterns and sizes. This shirt is called Fog Gray, but fog isn't even a color. It's translucent. Just pick something that feels like you. Once you live on your own, you're going to need to choose your own clothes. You can do this, Sam. I think there's a stylish dude in there. You mean me, right? I do.