Transcript (en)

number four and this makes me the most annoyed the most annoyed and maybe i was just a little whore you know but i do believe i had it right on this one when people on tiktok are saying no kissing no kissing on a first date no i completely disagree with you i completely how about this also no no kissing on a first date well sometimes i fucked them on the first date how about that one tiktok um how about i let him eat me out on the first date and i married him No, I'm just kidding. He didn't email. That was like the second time. But okay, listen, if you are going to say to yourself in the mirror before you go on that first date, baby, you will not accept a kiss. You will not even accept a hug. What are we doing? What are we doing? Like you're skipping the most fun and romantic and magical part of having a great date with someone. Like, like get in there. Like if a first kiss feels right, it feels right. The first kiss at the end of the date is seriously what they write movies about and songs and books. okay and what I dream about because it's one of the most exciting romantic human experiences that you can possibly have you do not need to be denying yourself pleasure to prove some arbitrary point to be like did you kiss him you like they like good girl good girl get your fucking lips in there both if you want let me tell you a story um i told the story many times i make it quick matt and i i went in there not knowing who this man is i'm like oh this hollywood man movie producer what's he gonna be about slowly fell in love first night i was like oh my god i want to fuck this man unfortunately my sister was staying with me in the same hotel room so like i probably wouldn't let him upstairs into my legs but like i didn't because my sister was up there but i can't i came across like i wasn't willing to give it up on the first date. Whatever. The point is, is I went to the bathroom. We're leaving. We're going to the car after our full long two plus hour date, may I add. And he texts me to come to the back of the restaurant to go the back way. And I walk down the long alley and I see him under the little light in the back and he grabs my face and he pushes me up against the wall in the back of the parking lot. And he starts making out with my face. And I came in my pants. I was like, this is, this is what dreams, this is what dreams are made of. I come to LA, I meet this man, he grabs me by the back of my neck, puts his hands on my hips, puts his tongue down my throat, puts me in his car and is like, where to next? Yeah, fuck me. Like that, even if I never saw Matt again, I've had so many dates